


The Lost Prince

by Manysidesofmyself



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Thorki - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2014-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-05 18:59:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1097492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manysidesofmyself/pseuds/Manysidesofmyself
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor finds out Loki is alive, but he's not willing to let it go unoticed. He seeks justice for beeing so deceived, but his heart seeks something else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> It's basically a normal fic, but at each chapter I will rec a song that you may listen while reading to keep you in the mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song of the chapter: Arrival of The Birds & Transformation - The Cinematic Orchestra

\- Well, I... I have to tell you something. - she choked on the words, palms sweaty with anxiety.

\- Tell me then. - he urged, a faint smile on his lips.

What could be so alarming to have Jane in such a state? Surely nothing wrong was happening to the world, or he would have known. Fury was sure to locate him if something was wrong.

She fumbled around, fidgegetting on her zipper.

\- Uhm... It’s just that... Your...

\- Say it Jane! He was growing impatient.

\- Your brother is alive. - she blurted hurriedly, eyes wide with panic.

Everything stopped. Jane held him by the forearm, vaguely aware that if Thor actually collapsed, she would simply swoon alongside with his heavy form. Obviously she couldn’t hold him much longer, he had to sit down, and obviously Jane knew he never would.

\- What... - he mumbled under his breath, eyes blankly scanning the room. There was no reason for Jane to lie and he didn’t even probed the hypothesis of her being mistaken. Somehow he knew Jane was telling the truth.

 _So tiny_ , he thought, still giving the apartment a bleak view. The walls were closing in, squeezing him inside, trapping his body into a concrete cage. He barely noticed Jane’s hand on his arm, it was lighter than a bird. Everything was so quiet, uncommonly. They lived in New York now and he got used to car horns and people screaming and cellphones and whistles. He was used to fuss of the city.

The words, though, wouldn’t stop repeating incessantly in his head, so loud in that unbearably quiet room. _Your brother is alive._

Thor was consumed by all kinds of feelings, some of them he couldn’t even put a name on. Some of them were old friends. Surprise, hesitation, desperation, love, pain, hate, wrath, pain again, relief, angst, sadness, then nothing. Suddenly he was empty as if all the air had been sucked out of him, as if he had been robbed of his mind.

\- Are you okay? You look a little pale... - Jane’s voice was but a whisper, her worried face worlds apart from him.

He felt the room shift and spin, his head hit the cold floor, but he had no idea how the floor could have moved so fast towards his face. His body stiff as a rock, unmoving. Was he breathing? He had to be, but there was no sound, there was no rising of his chest, there was no pulse.

Jane rushed to where he lie, stroking his pale cheeks with her fairy-like hand. She kept whispering incoherently, but Thor couldn’t make out the words. Her voice didn’t follow the movements of her lips. It was off. Everything was off.

He noticed absently that she was still clinging to his arm, maybe trying to move him.

_Oh, I fainted._

\- Oh my God, can you hear me? Should I take you to the hospital. Yes, I probably should. I’ll call Darcy and... - she went on and on.

Thor didn’t stop her babbling, simply putting a heavy hand on her shoulder and recollecting himself from the floor.

\- I’m fine. - he stated quietly, rising from where he stood and walking towards the window.

Mjolnir had been kept hidden from his sight, stored in one of the drawers of their bedroom. He had no time to search for it, so he just stretched his arm, hand vibrating, summoning Mjolnir to life and there she was again, eagerly responding to her master. His fingers held firmly on her shaft, white-knuckled hand.

There was no time for doors and stairs and walking. He swung the hammer furiously and in seconds there was no more sign of Thor, as if he had never been there.

Jane sat back on the couch, head on her hands.

\- Why did I have to fall for a norse God? Couldn’t I be in love with just a man?

He flew like a bullet, thunder roaring beside him, lightning clashing above. Among all the feeling swirling around in his chest, the one who stood out was anger. He was furious now, teeth gritted painfully, eyes red with rage.

There was no sense in what he intended to do. Loki wouldn’t be in Asgard, much less would he be easily found, so he stopped, landing ungracefully on the desert of New Mexico. Once again, the place would witness his recklessness.

In a burst of wrath he growled into the wind.

\- LOKIIII! - his voice echoed around the city louder than a storm, hands twisted like claws, thick veins pulsing in his neck.

Where to look? Who would know? Unanswered questions drowned him in desperation.

There was only his name and a vague memory of Jane’s words. He never bothered asking how Jane got that information, how she found out about Loki’s lie. Now he felt even more stupid. What if she knew where Loki was? What if she knew someone who knew?

No, she couldn’t. He would have heard of something, if she knew, he would have felt Loki’s presence somehow.

Thor felt his throat tight and tongue heavy as a horse. His breath was ragged and he was only seconds from fainting again. Empty stomach and stress, not a very good combination.

Presumably his knees dropped, hitting the sand mercilessly like two disconnected rocks. What was the point in looking? Loki knew very well how to hide and if he didn’t want to be found, no one would.

But that ignited a thought in his brain. If Loki didn’t want to be found, Jane wouldn’t know he was alive.

Something close to hope glistened in his eyes.

\- Heimdal! - was his next plea, which was quickly answered by the old friend.

Before he knew, all kinds of colors surrounded him, absorbing his body into the wormhole familiarly. In seconds he was at the Bifrost, golden eyes shining cheerfully at the sight of him.

\- My prince. - Heimdal bowed, barely containing his glee.

\- My old friend. - Thor soothed, hands strongly wrapping around the guardian’s shoulders.

\- Have you come to present us with a visit?

Thor’s smile faded immediately.

\- No, dear Heimdal. Unfortunately not.

The amber eyes of the keeper glowed wisely, recognizing in Thor’s features the cause of his worries almost instantly, but his mind couldn’t quite grasp at the concept of which he remembered seeing that look for the last time. There was no way...

\- My prince...? - he questioned, hands slowly turning into fists.

\- Yes. We’ve been fooled again. - Thor’s tone was profoundly resentful.

\- But how could that be?

\- I don’t know yet, Heimdal, but I will find out.

Confident of his decisions he bid farewell to his friend and marched to the throne room. Certainly Odin must have heard of such rumors, and if he hadn’t, Thor would be the one to tell him. It was his duty as a prince, after all.

For a brief moment the familiar columns gave him some sort of nostalgic sensation, taking him back to a much better time in his life, where love was easily found and family meant something solid and unbreakable. Something that was now nothing but a dream, hopeless and romantic, which made him feel sick to his stomach.

Loki would pay.


	2. Misguided King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor found out Loki was alive and he's now heading to the Throne room to tell Odin, but what he's not seeing is what will cut a wound in his heart. Who's the real king?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song of the chapter: Glass Heart Hymn - Paper Route

Thor's heavy steps could be heard anywhere in a mile long. The tall golden walls echoed the noise of his boots depreciatively, not like before, not like that was his home. The glistening floor seemed to unpleasantly absorb it, each step leading him closer to his father, each step leading him closer to pain.

For almost three years he had been away, gladly removed from his rightful place. Not that Midgard was heaven, but when he had lost all hopes in finding happiness inside the golden palace, Earth was the first place that came to his mind. A refuge mostly, but gradually it also became a synonymous of home.

Odin was far from being proud of his son's choices but he didn't actually disapproved of them either. It was some sort of understanding between them, something like being happy instead of being right.

Walking through the old fortress, seeing the immense doors of the throne room gave him a strange twist in the gut. Almost like pain. Everything was off, even in Asgard.

Thor straightened his back, took a deep breath and knocked. Two guards immediately opened the double doors slowly, the metal screeching against its hinges.

Odin sat quietly in his throne, meek, like nothing could ever bring him discomfort, like all the problems of the world weren’t a match for his peaceful mind. Again, it was off.

\- Hello, father. - Thor greeted, bowing as he should in the presence of the King.

Odin smiled widely, teeth sparkling like polished porcelain. A little frightening to Thor’s frantic nerves. He had had enough weirdness for one lifetime, but it seemed Loki being alive was only the beginning.

\- Well, look who came to pay us a visit! - Odin exclaimed in a cheerful tone that alarmed Thor even more.

He was never cheerful, not even happy. Odin never smiled. What was happening to him? Frigga’s death, then Loki’s, and then Thor resigning the throne must have been to much to handle and now he was going insane.

Thor smiled faintly in return, approaching the throne hesitantly.

\- I’m afraid I do not come with glad tidings, father.

Odin’s single eye narrowed at his words, his head slightly turning to one side in confusion.

That was nothing like him, Thor thought, not even a bit of his father’s mannerisms.

\- What is it, Thor? - he asked, half-amused and half-curious.

The retired prince puffed out his chest in order to appear more trustworthy of his words because he knew how odd they would sound once they were out of his mouth and into the air.

\- It’s about Loki. - he muttered low.

For a brief second Thor saw Odin go pale and blink quickly. That was understandable, since his father had never talked about Loki after his death. Thor wasn’t present to share the grief, but he knew Odin must have suffered, so pain and surprise were acceptable.

\- What about him? - was the interested response.

\- I have heard from a reliable source that he is... - Thor swallowed, heart constricting painfully - In fact, alive.

Odin’s reaction came shattered in a thousand pieces. If Thor would be honest with himself, he had never seen his father so unsettled. Many emotions crossed the alfather’s features, and among them Thor could see surprise, hesitation, delight, restraint, curiosity and a hint of hysteria. All too confusing for him, since Thor was a man of decided thoughts and focused attention.

\- That’s... - he began, sitting back at the marble chair with an amused expression, which he soon disguised with a grimace. - ...bad news.

\- B-bad... what? - Thor furrowed his brow, a feeling of misplacement flooding his lungs.

Odin rose from the throne and strutted to where Thor was with a prim expression twisting his wrinkled forehead.

\- Tell me more about that, dear son... I wish to know how’d you get the details. Who told you? Who is your reliable source? And most important, where is Loki now?

Those were, to say the least, not the questions Thor was expecting to be asked. What was the matter with where he got the notice from? What did it mean? Odin should be making plans to search for Loki, to contact other realms and be sure he wasn’t hiding on any of them.

\- Father, it does not matter who told me this, we need to find Loki.

Thor’s thick vein was again pulsing, standing out on his neck viciously like an angry snake.

Odin widened his one eye and gritted his teeth.

\- WHY?

\- Because if he deceived us into thinking he was actually dead... - his words were no match to the ache he felt taking over his body, limbs growing heavy and limp.

If Loki had fooled everyone once again, Thor could not take it. _Would_ not take it. He couldn’t believe all that suffering was for nothing, all those tears and promises, Loki’s redemption and his own denial to the throne.

He barely realized how Odin’s eye glowed with expectation. He almost missed his father’s crooked smile once his own lips were transfigured in a mask of resentment, but it did not go unnoticed. Oh no, Thor had learned to be wise, he had understood how people could be misleading and deceptive. He had learn with the best.

\- Father, you do not seem worried about this matter... at all.

Odin’s grin was now fully at display, not even a hint of uneasiness clouding his eye.

\- Because I am not, dear boy.

- _How can you not?_ We are talking about Loki! He could be anywhere, planning his vengeance against Asgard, he could be destroying one of the realms, he could be murdering thousands of people, and you are not worried?

Thor was now pacing nervously around the ample room, fists clenched, jaw projected forth, eyes burning in both anger and confusion. Why the alfather was so calm and collected? Why wasn't he panicking like Thor was?

Odin had grown even calmer, if that was possible, in the face of his son’s fury, crossing his arms behind his back and settling both feet firmly on the ground.

\- Thor, your brother is just a spoiled child, eager to gain attention in every form, in any way, by any means. If he let you find out he’s alive it’s simply because he wanted to, he has a purpose and perhaps we will not be able to see it now, but eventually, if we follow his cues, he’ll appear.

Thor was not convinced by that and his rage had only grew thicker with alfather’s indifference. Loki was not at all a child, he was a dangerous fugitive who had every reason, in his mind, to end an entire race if he fancied to. Thor couldn't simply wait on it.

\- Well, if you do not find this alarming, father, if you fail to see the risk of Loki’s fake death, then I can do nothing to help you, but I will not let this be. I will find Loki and I will bring him back to Asgard.

Odin seemed oddly pleased.

\- Do as you wish, my son.

With that Thor growled in discontent, flying across the room and back to the corridors. The fate of Asgard and all the nine realms was again in his hands. He would not let people die because of his brother’s madness. He would not let Loki be free and excused.

Before running back to the Bifrost, Thor wondered if Loki could be hiding right there, under his nose, at the very room he called his. So his task had changed. Asgard would be the first place to search.

With or without help, Thor would find Loki and he would make him talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, Thor is getting closer than he thinks to his dear brother. Let's see what happens next! Thanks for reading!


	3. Unraveling the Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is confronted with an old truth that was, until now, invisible to his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song of the chapter: Cover Your Tracks - A Boy and His Kite

Asgard was no longer a place filled with the noise of post-battle-glee and magnificent feasts. It seemed almost dead without its queen and both princes, governed only by a mournful king who was unwilling to fight now, who was strangely calm in the face of such deceit as to his son’s fake death. It could go unnoticed to every subject of the realm, but not to Asgard’s golden prince.

Thor was now facing the door to Loki’s chambers, sorrowfully aware that once he opened it, the immaculate image he kept hidden within his heart - his brother’s lithe form resting peacefully by the window, a worn book held expectedly by a slender hand, green eyes fully concentrated - would be spoiled and killed along with his hope to ever be at peace with Loki.

It was painful enough to think his brother dead, but pain was a hungry demon, never satisfied, always feeding from Thor’s tired heart and to know of this fresh mistake was beyond manageable.

Even so, he pushed the heavy door, feeling his heart sunk to his stomach unpleasantly, screeching noises escaped the hinges domestically. It was the sound of emptiness.

Once inside the bedroom, Thor couldn’t help a sob and his knees felt too weak and his body felt too limp and there was nowhere to hold on to, there was no support, no will, no hope. There was only loss, a fatal wound carved into his chest by beloved hands, infected bites pierced by smiley teeth.

There was only pain, because no matter how much he suffered to think Loki was dead, no matter how many nights he spent crying his eyes out, punching holes through walls, destroying inhabited lands, nothing could match the feeling of knowing the person he loved the most was still alive and there was no way he could get to him. Nothing in all nine realms could give him comfort to the fact that even if he _found_ Loki, his brother was still beyond his reach, lost inside himself permanently.

Thor struggled to get up again, forcing his eyes to focus between the tears and demanding his legs to support his weight as he walked through the chambers. It looked lifeless without the presence of its owner.

Thor took a few steps towards the bed, red silk sheets neatly folded, impeccably organized over the large mattress. He remembered asking Loki why he demanded red sheets, since green seemed to be his favourite color, only to have Loki scowl at him and walk away. He never really understood the way his brother’s mind worked, but it didn’t bother him back then, it actually made him grow even fonder of Loki.

He stroked the silk, tenderly, as if it was Loki’s pale skin, and felt another tear pour down his cheeks.

\- _Brother..._ \- he whispered, the words barely leaving his mouth.

On the bedside there were three books piled purposefully. They were Loki’s favourites. One about Seidr, another about the mysteries of the nine realms and the last one, surprisingly enough, was a diary, one Thor had never seen before.

Sure Loki kept diaries when they were younger, but Thor would always discover and read them, driving Loki insane, until one day he stopped writing altogether. What did it meant, then, that unknown journal, inconspicuously resting at the mahogany desk?

The thunder God got a hold of it, carefully at first, as if the whole thing was a trap, like it could burn his fingertips. It didn’t, though, and he dared to open it. Yellowed pages almost falling apart in his broad hands. Nothing written on them. He flipped the pages, one by one, and still, nothing, until he passed by a tiny little blur and flipped them again to find it. Right in the middle of the diary, written in the elegant calligraphy of his brother there was a single sentence.

_“The key lies within my **heart** , but you’ll never know it for you have never seen it; the key lies within my **soul** , but you’ll never find it for **you** have never seen **me**.”_

It took a moment for Thor to understand that the diary was probably concealed with seidr and the spell to reveal it was a riddle written by Loki himself. What did it mean?

Suddenly he was eager to discover, to be closer to his brother, to be able to see within his soul. He pressed the diary to his rigid chest, agony and regret drowning his heart. What could be the key to the riddle?

Something caught his eye in the exact same instant. Placed mindlessly under the last book was a tiny hammer carved in gold with rubies and emeralds adorning it. Thor took the jewel between his fingers. It was an exact replica of Mjolnir, a miniature.

Why would Loki have it among his precious books?

The shining object was twisted gingerly in Thor’s hands, and for a second he fancied keeping it, but Loki wouldn’t want him to, not that Loki cared much about what he left behind, but it felt to Thor like he was stealing something intimate, something personal.

And then it dawned on him.

It wasn’t simply a charm, it wasn’t something that would be left behind absently. Loki left it because it represented something he wanted to forget.

The key to the diary was as distressing and grieving as it was revealing.

He took the notebook closer to his lips and hesitantly whispered his own name. The yellow pages were flooded with the same elegant handwriting. So many words, so many thoughts...

\- You thought I couldn’t see you... - Thor whispered, smiling sadly with understanding.

It made him sick to acknowledge that Loki was actually at the wrong side of the rope. Thor spent many years thinking his brother distant and cold, imagining what could he have done to deserve such indifference, when all he had to do was talk to him, for Loki felt the same way. He felt cast aside, ignored, when all Thor could do was hang out with his friends, since his dear brother didn’t seem to want his company. But it was just the opposite! Oh, how ignorant he had been, how blind!

If only he had learned it before it was all over... What used did it have now that Loki was gone? Not dead, but certainly not entirely alive. At least, not like he used to be.

He cursed his existence and scolded himself for being such a fool. It could have been so easy to make things right between them...

After some loathing he decided to read a few pages, because honestly, how much more damage could it do now?

It started off with something like this:

_“It is already afternoon and Thor is out on the training field with those disgusting leechs again. Does he not see that they are but parasitizing on his skills? Does he not see that they mean nothing but to pull us apart? I cannot take this anymore. I refuse to indulge his so-called-friends. Actually, I am far better reading my books than going out to hunting trips with them."_

Thor frowned, disappointed with the whole situation. It wasn’t fair the way Loki thought, but he realized he could have done better as well. If only he knew that a little more attention could have saved him from a lot of trouble.

He flipped more pages, going to the end of the diary, and read again another piece.

_“This is the last time I care to write anything about him. It’s hardly fair that he can walk around, flashing the maidens that bright smile... Like he’s made of sunshine. It’s maddening! But I can’t help to wonder how those pink lips would taste like; how his heated skin would feel pressed against mine. I know this is wrong, and dreadfully twisted, but I am hopelessly in love with him. This is it. This is the end and from now on I will never think of him in this way, because from now on I decided to ruin his life. He’ll pay for everything he made me suffer.”_

Thor widened his eyes in surprise. Who was Loki talking about? He had been in love with a man and no one ever knew?

Something ignited inside of him, a mix of pain and anger, but also desperation. He didn’t have a name for it and it made him even more angry to imagine Loki wasting his love with such a beast! What kind of man would make his brother suffer, would ignore his precious affections?

But that was a long time ago and maybe it could even have contributed to Loki’s madness, but there was nothing he could do. Loki had a hard life, living inside his head, feeling hated and isolated. It wasn’t the truth, though, Loki only took it too seriously. He was over sensitive sometimes and for that too, there was nothing Thor could do.

He caressed the book’s cover as if it was Loki’s hand. If he could go back in time and save his brother from all that misery...

The room was now glowing mystically, the placid atmosphere of the dusk flooding the chamber and painting everything gold.

He wished Loki was there so he could envelop him in his arms and tell him everything would be okay. But he couldn’t because that would be a lie. Nothing would ever be okay again, not after everything Loki had done.

The oversized bed creaked with his weight once he sat down, letting go of the diary and getting a hold of one of the pillows. He sniffed it and oddly enough, it still smelled like Loki, like he had been sleeping there all along, like he had never left.

\- What if he didn’t? - Thor asked himself and his husky voice echoed around the room like a ghost.

He stood up hurriedly, throwing the pillow back in the bed and pacing nervously around the room. Blue orbs searching, scanning every corner. He needed to find more proof that Loki was still there, maybe something he had eaten, or maybe some other book he left with a dog-eared page.

The book-shelf was untouched, the round table at the center of the room, empty. But there had to be more! Loki couldn’t be so clever as to not leave a single clue.

Odin’s words whispered in his mind _“...if we follow his cues, he’ll appear.”_

Thor did not find any other proof, but he was wise enough to come up with a plan. If Loki was still in Asgard and if his pillows still had his sweet scent, than maybe, if Thor was patient, he could catch him red-handed.

It was decided then. Maybe he couldn’t find Loki, but Loki was certain to find him. _  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Loki be reckless enough to get caught? We'll see!


	4. Brother's Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor waited to catch his brother red-handed, but what happens when he's overwhelmed with a strange feeling once he sets his eyes once again at his brother's lithe form?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song of the chapter: Never Let Me Go - Florence and The Machine

The tired sun of Asgard had already set in the horizon and night poured over the realm like a dark mantle speckled with shining dots. Not a sound could be heard over the palace and it was exactly like Thor needed it to be.

He stayed inside Loki’s chamber, expectant and anxious, only to see if there would be any movement, anyone who would come in. For a few hours nothing happened, only his breath could be heard, only his presence maculated the room.

Now he was crouched behind the bookshelf, Mjolnir patiently lying next to him, a million thoughts coursing through his weary mind. What if that was all a skewed fantasy his mind created to fulfill the need of his brother’s presence? What if Loki was nowhere near Asgard?

He brushed his brow with a thick hand, wiping out nervous sweat. Loki had to be there... For Odin’s sake, he felt his scent! There was no way Loki’s smell would still be on his pillow if he hadn’t been sleeping there the whole time.

He waited and waited what seemed like a thousand years when finally he heard the crack on the door, the metal sting of the doorknob and the screech of the hinges awaken the room. His chest heavied with hope and anxiety again.

What came through the door, though, wasn’t what he anticipated at all, but surprising enough.

Odin walked in, shoulders tense and face strained. He waited until the door was closed again and then he turned on his heel, raising both hands towards the door and circling them in a much known manner. Thor had seen that before... From Odin’s hand a greenish flame appeared, covering the room entirely from wall to wall, stretching and concealing. It was seidr.

Thor held back a gasp of astonishment. Odin didn’t know seidr! But Loki did. He didn’t move, much less made any noise. He waited, muscles taut and breath caught in his throat. He wouldn’t act until he was sure.

Odin slipped to the bed, sitting quietly and running a hand through his silver hair. And then it happened. The same greenish flame peeled the fake carcass revealing the true king.

Thor had to act but he was suddenly paralysed. Eyes glued on Loki’s slender body, his raven hair, his green tunic. He swallowed hard, transfixed.

 _Go on_ , he thought, _you have to move, you have to grab him before he vanishes away_ , but it did nothing for him. He couldn’t stop staring, mesmerized. The intensity of his feelings for Loki was all at once blooming in his chest. He couldn’t grasp the hate, the fury he had felt only hours ago, he couldn’t reach his wrath. There was only love. The most pure, incandescent, overwhelming love.

Loki sighed, as if tired of a long day, then stood up again to strip his body off the tunic.

Thor almost choked on his drool when the vision of his brother’s ivory skin entered his sight. Slender, but also toned. Luckily Loki didn’t hear a thing.

The trickster then lied on his bed, covering his slim body with the red silk sheets. It was, to say the least, a dashing view. The silk adorned perfectly his shapely legs, framing his form in the most flattering of ways.

 _What to do now?_ Thor thought, biting his lower lip agog.

Loki pulled at the covers, bringing it closer to his mouth, green eyes squinted.

\- _Brother..._ \- he whispered so silently that Thor almost missed it.

Then he sniffed the blanket, whining a bit before covering his head in a vain attempt to fall asleep quicker.

Thor’s heart constricted painfully, anger so far away from his mind that he couldn’t even remember how it felt. He needed to come closer. Not to capture Loki, but to touch him. His fingers tingled with longing. He had to stroke Loki’s cheek again, even if it was for the last time.

He waited again, hands writhing so badly he had to clench them in fists and cross his arms. Two years without his brother, two years thinking he was dead and now, only a few feet away, there he lied, the embodiment of perfection.

The thought of Loki lying naked on his bed made Thor feel a bit dizzy, a strange warmth spread across his belly, growing hotter and stronger. It was something odd, a hint of... No. It couldn’t be _that_. He shook his head in disbelief.

At that very moment Loki grumbled, shifting in his bed fast asleep and Thor covered his mouth to silence a gasp. At least it was good to get his mind out of that fuzzy place. He gathered courage enough to rise and walk out from behind the shelf and to the center of the room. His steps were usually loud, so he had to be very careful.

The room wasn’t too dark because through the large window the moonlight poured and lighted most of it, so Thor paced quietly over the marble flooring meaning to get to Loki’s bed. Whenever his brother moved he stopped, blood freezing in his veins, only to continue more silently if possible.

Once he got to Loki’s bedside he felt surprisingly helpless. His hands began to shake stupidly. Why was he so nervous? It was just Loki, his baby brother, his best friend.

Again Loki moved, pushing the sheets with his leg and revealing a hairless pale chest to hungry and unaware blue eyes.

Thor gulped, lips pursed tight. That strange warmth pooling again in his belly. By the Norns, _what was that?_

Ever so gently he reached for his brother’s shallow cheeks, eager to feel again the softness of his skin brushing against his own. He remembered Loki felt fragile beneath his hands, but he couldn’t understand why those feelings were so different now, why was he thinking about touching his brother so much, why was he so desperate to be close to him in that way.

As his hand came near Loki’s face and finally touched his cheek he noticed too late what that really was.

Thor was conversant with his brother’s clones, but emotion got the best of him and blurred his vision to yet another trick. Again he had been deceived. How many times would he fall for that?

\- Sentiment... - he heard a silky voice whisper behind his ear.

The thunderer jumped and immediately turned around. Loki’s alabaster complexion was far too close to him to move away and he couldn’t help the shiver that ran down his spine once Loki’s icy breath mingled with his warm one.

\- L-Loki... - he mumbled taken aback.

The trickster all but laughed, throwing his head back in wicked amusement.

\- Oh _brother_ , you really haven’t changed a bit, have you?

Thor finally got a hold of himself and stepped back in defense. There was no way he could predict Loki’s moves, so he better not be that close.

Loki’s laughter toned down to a smile, but he seemed oddly pleased with himself. Probably because he had managed to trick The Mighty Thor once again.

\- I could say the same about you. - Thor threw back, the forgotten anger climbing its way back to his heart.

\- Now, let’s not get too hostile, shall we? - the trickster offered - Besides, I think we have other things to discuss other than how much we both haven’t changed.

Thor furrowed his brow, still defensively, still hesitant. There could never be certainty when it came to Loki.

\- Yes, I think we do. Starting with WHERE IS FATHER?

The older brother couldn’t help the growl that escaped his throat. Now everything shifted and his love for Loki was as vague as his ideas to where the Alfather must be.

Loki chuckled and shook his head disapprovingly.

\- That is far from your concern now, Thor. What really matters is why were you hovering over my bed while I lied there, naked? - his serious expression turned into mockery in the same instant.

Thor gritted his teeth, suddenly remembering the odd feeling in his belly.

\- I wasn't... I just thought... - he was at a loss of words and it only made Loki even more content.

\- Ah-ah-ah. - he shook his forefinger. - No stuttering, brother. I saw the look in your eyes.

Thor found himself blushing furiously, tongue heavy and droplets of sweat sliding down his temples. There was no way he would put that into words. He didn’t even understand his own hunger, how could he admitt it to Loki?

\- I thought you were sleeping and I was simply trying to... I wanted to... I was going to wake you up and demand explanations.

Loki did not buy that by any chance.

\- Right, and before you could wake me you tried to _pet_ me?

\- You’re not an animal for me to pet! I was going to stroke your cheek, for Odin’s sake, why does everything have to be a struggle with you? Why do you think I hate and despise you that much when I have done nothing to prove you right?

Thor was panting angrily and noticed a timid flash of surprise cross Loki’s eyes, but it quickly went away.

\- Because you think you are Asgard’s Golden Prince, because you are The God of Thunder, The Mighty Thor, everything and anything Asgard could ever want from its king, but I know you better than that, Odinson!

Thor clawed at Loki’s collar, bringing him closer unexpectedly.

\- I never thought myself above you, neither have I tried to outbest you. We were brothers and that’s all that mattered to me. I wanted your friendship, your love... - the words became too hard to speak and tears threatened to fall so he stopped talking.

Loki, as usual, took advantage of it, freeing himself from his brother’s iron grip and taking several steps back he started pacing around the room.

\- You speak as if we were ever equals... I was invisible to you Thor, to everyone! You said I was weak, you mocked me, you and your leeches humiliated me. Don’t you remember that?

Thor followed him.

\- I was a child, misguided and foolish. I never meant any harm, I just played along...

\- Well it didn’t feel like a game to me! - Loki bared his teeth, jaw jolted forth.

Thor placed a heavy hand on his shoulder and the trickster turned angrily to yank it off.

\- Loki, I... You were so cold, so distant... How could I have reached you when you tried so hard to cave an abyss between us?

The younger brother swallowed dryly, old feelings digging their graves, trying to flee from his chest. He wanted to tell Thor what his reasons were, but if his brother was already thick back then, how could he see it now? It was always so obvious, stamped on his face, printed in capitals over his forehead and still Thor couldn’t see it.

\- You did nothing but enlarge the gap. - was his angry accusation.

\- If I had known what was going on in your mind I could’ve tried something, but you were unreachable! Lost inside yourself, closed in your own personal little palace.

Loki snarled, coming closer to his brother’s face.

\- I HAD NO ONE! YOU HAD EVERY AND SINGLE ONE OF ASGARD’S SUBJECTS KNELT DOWN FOR YOU!

His green eyes were shining dangerously with an unique kind of jealousy and resentment when Thor decided to calm things down.

\- Not even one of them could dream to gain from me the kind of affection I had for you.

He held Loki by the neck the way he always did, tenderly, dripping love from his blue eyes and his brother couldn’t deny the reciprocity of those feelings.

\- You never showed me such affection.

It was decided then. The hunger building inside of him had finally found a target. It might be wrong and Loki would probably stab him anyways, but he could no longer deny the heat, the desire that was now melting him from inside out.

\- I'll show you now. - was the wise response of the thunderer.

And with that Thor leaned in, pressing his meaty lips to Loki’s thin ones, tasting their softness and the way they molded around his.


	5. Sweet Devotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is willing to show how much he cares, but will Loki give in to such sweet affections?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song of the chapter: One More Night - Maroon 5

Loki surrendered for a brief second, limbs feeling heavy and melted under the kiss, his wildest dream finally coming to life. But Thor couldn’t know that, he couldn’t possibly think Loki would do such thing as to give in. He angrily pushed the thunderer away, freeing both his lips and face.

\- WHAT WAS THAT? - he demanded, eyes wide with anger.

Thor didn’t quiet understand what he had done, but at the same time it seemed natural, bound to happen. He simply hadn’t come to that conclusion yet.

The kind of love he always felt for Loki was beyond brotherly, but his eyes were blind to such a feeling and now he was able to put a name on what he felt while reading Loki’s diary: jealousy. He couldn’t conceive the idea of having his baby brother in the hands of somebody else. No. Loki was _his_.

\- That was me showing you how much I care. - he answered gravely.

Loki’s mouth was still burning from the kiss and he held back the urge to touch it, his emeralds eyes shining vividly in lust. But he needed an explanation. Thor never seemed to match his feelings, why do it now? What had changed?

\- You could have showed me it in many different ways... why this?

Thor pondered and the answer was not yet formed, but he tried.

\- Because... I didn’t know you felt ignored by me back when we were kids. I couldn’t understand your distance, but it hurt me nonetheless. I loved you so intensely, but it never occurred to me that my feelings were something entirely different from a brother’s love. - he paused to seek for some elucidation and Loki took the chance to depart.

He took a glance at his nightstand and noticed the way his diary was now placed atop the pile. A devilish grimace tortured his features.

\- YOU ARE MOCKING ME! - he yelled, his nails carving crescents on the palm of his hands.

Thor turned to him in shock.

\- What?

Then he saw Loki gazing at the pile and a nauseating understanding clouded his eyes.

\- NO! - he desperately choked - I didn’t... I just...

Loki was now pacing angrily through the room, shoulders tense and eyes unseeing.

\- YOU READ IT! YOU SAW HOW I FELT SO YOU DECIDED TO SCOFF, TO DERIDE ME!

He was engulfed in rage and there was nothing Thor could say to ease his way, except...

\- I WAS JEALOUS! - he screamed, causing his brother to stop where he was and listen. - I only read the start and then the last pages and when I saw that you were in love... - he felt a lump forming in his throat. - I was outraged! I couldn’t understand how you could love such a beast, such an ignorant fool who never even gave you hope. I couldn’t understand how this mysterious man deprived you from his affections... how could _anyone_ deny you love? If I had know... I envied that man and then I closed your journal in anger.

Loki couldn’t decide between tears and laughter, so he displayed their combination: hysteria.

\- You are by far the most dull and sightless man I have ever known! - he spat feeling his anger take a different turn.

He _was_ angry at Thor, but now that he knew how both felt it was difficult to hate him for the same reasons. Even so, Thor was blind and it enraged Loki anyhow.

\- What do you mean...?

The trickster only grinned.

\- That’s exactly what I mean. There were so many signs around you, Thor, so many ways you could have seen it and yet...

Thor furrowed his brow.

\- I know I failed to understand how my behavior saddened you, but...

\- Oh, you IDIOT!

The younger brother was beyond exasperation and he hated to demonstrate his feelings so openly towards his brother, but there would be no way to make him see.

\- There was no mysterious man! There never was. I had fallen for the one person I couldn't. - he turned his head towards the window to hide a blush -  _You._

Thor remained silent, slowly absorbing the confession.

The whole diary referred to him, so. And as if the dense fog had cleared, also his head was now lighter. Loki’s behavior, his detachment, the red sheets... It was all because of him and all this time Loki suffered because of him, because Thor was an enormous moke.

He struggled with words until he decided that words were not needed.

Loki was standing closer to the great window and didn’t notice when Thor closed the distance between them, startling him when he pressed his body to the trickster’s and held him tight, enveloping it in an overwhelmingly sweet hug.

\- Let me go! - Loki commanded weakly.

\- I’ll never let you go again. - Thor promised, turning his brother’s body to face his.

He straddled Loki’s face with his large hands, bringing it closer and closer. He meant for another kiss, but Loki quickly pulled away.

\- What do you think you’re doing? I said I _was_ in love with you, not that I still am.

Thor arched one eyebrow defiantly.

\- I don’t believe you.

\- I don’t care if you believe me or not, now get off! - he snorted, pushing Thor aside and aiming to the bed. - If you’d let me, I intend to rest, it’s been a long day.

Thor was wiser this time and launched himself on top of Loki before the latter could dodge. They both fell on the bed blatantly.

\- WHAT... LET ME GO, YOU BEAST! - Loki wiggled, trying to free himself but it was too late and he wasn’t trying very hard.

\- I know you feel the same, brother, don’t deny it.

The thunderer was pinning him down by both wrists, their bodies pressed together dangerously. He planted a kiss on Loki’s neck, deliberately nuzzling it and inhaling his sweet scent.

Loki tried to throw back a snarky response, but the way Thor’s lips felt against his skin made his mind hazy. He attempted vainly to keep his eyes open.

Thor moved again, lips pressing slightly at his brother’s cold skin, trailing up to his earlobe. His stubble brushed wittingly and it caused Loki to gasp.

\- I have missed you so much... - he whispered lustfully before giving a little bite and the trickster’s breath caught in his throat.

\- I don’t see how, given you’ve been busy with your little rat.

Even haze with want, he was still a silvertongue.

Thor chuckled at that, not slightly offended. He knew how Loki played and offenses were his best weapon, but not now, not when _he_ was about to be played.

\- You need to shut your smart mouth, brother. - Thor complained and immediately kissed Loki hard, teeth clashing and lips bruising.

There were few things that could make the God of Mischief stirr, give up his haughty façade and finally give in, and his brother’s tongue was proving to be one of them.

The older one tasted and claimed his brother’s mouth wildly, devouring his lips like a starving man who had just found the most wonderful regale, and Loki relished the fact that he was being thoroughly revered.

Slowly there was little room left for hesitation or shame for both princes were wrapped in a cloud of desire and insanity.

Thor tangled his fingers in Loki’s hair pulling him impossibly closer at the same time Loki clawed to Thor’s back with equal incoherent purpose.

Long ago, in a much different time, the trickster had wished for a novelettish night with his love interest, romantic and sweet lovemaking with roses and wine, maybe a fool’s idea of affection. But not this time, not after everything they had been through.

After tortures and hatred, Loki wished to be destroyed. He desired to feel his skin shred and his blood boil, he was eager to be broken by beloved hands, for that was the only way he would feel once again alive and Thor was willing to give him just that.

The thunderer pushed both of their bodies further into the bed and tugged to Loki’s tunic, impatient to take it off, for which his brother answered by swirling his hand round and dissolving the tunic with seidr, like it was never there.

Thor smiled between kisses to Loki’s temple.

\- You never fail to surprise me, brother.

The answer was a small groan followed by a snarky comment.

\- I wonder if you get... - a moan interrupted him when Thor slid his fingers to squeeze his buttocks - ...surprised by your little leech...

With another swirl of his hand he freed Thor of the armor and undergarment and got a growl of content in response, their erections rubbing together wantonly.

\- I never knew you could get this hard for your little brother. - he moaned and slid one slender hand between their bodies to grasp at Thor’s cock purposefully.

Thor gasped and rolled his hips instinctively, digging his fingers into Loki’s flesh to bruise, to mark him as his own.

Honestly, sweet and tender love was no longer something they could hold on to, because pain and resentment were much stronger now, feeding in their despair, launching itself upon their wounds with hungry teeth, anxious to destroy. But between those hopeless feelings, Thor had to find a way to take that moment and make it meaningful.

Loki tried to think of various things to say, ways of hurting Thor more deeply than he had ever been hurt before, but he found no such words and his claws and fangs were much more useful now to mark his path, to take down his prey.

He bit down Thor’s neck, almost drawing blood and surely leaving a bruise, causing the God of Thunder to howl in delight.

They rolled over until Loki was on top, legs forcefully straddling his brother’s ribcage. He slapped Thor across the face with all the strength he had and waited for his reaction. It wasn’t as satisfying as he wanted, for Thor only smirked and clutched at his waist, bringing Loki back down and closer to him.

\- You’re such a filthy God, Odinson, finding pleasure in being beaten like a slave.

The answer was a tight grip to his neck, hands made of iron clasped wildly around him, almost chokingly. And, to his shame, it only made his cock throb.

Thor threw him back on the mattress, vigorously pinning him down once again, he nipped at Loki’s collar bone and descended to his chest - the pale hairless chest that had firstly made him ache in a different way - and found a pink nipple only waiting to be taken.

He enfold it with his lips, sucking and circling his tongue mercilessly.

Loki arched his back feeling betrayed by his own body, but it was probably too late to think of pudency and when his brother captured the nipple with his teeth there was nothing he could do to stop from crying out.

\- You seem to appreciate filthness, brother. - Thor answered in a hoarse voice filled with passion.

The trickster moaned loudly, not even attempting to cover his mouth to maintain some dignity.

Soon Thor was licking his way down to Loki’s lower belly, hands busy with the perky nipples. It was hard not to touch him, not to make him feel good and adored. He loved seeing Loki’s indifference dissolve and give room to utter lust. He briefly wondered how his own face looked like possessed by desire as it was.

Without hesitation, and once he was there, the older brother brushed his lips to the tip of Loki’s cock, causing the latter to shudder and gasp.

\- Tell me again, how disgustingly filthy I am, brother. - Thor offered suggestively.

Loki choked as the thunderer fell sickly on his length, engulfing it all at once.

\- U-unf...unfair... - he tried, moaning desperately while he relished the softness and wetness of his brother’s mouth.

Thor tasted him yet again, hard and warm inside of him, sliding so deliciously it was difficult to think. He wondered how his own cock would feel inside of his brother’s holes. It made him whimper.

He let go of one of the nipple to cup Loki’s balls and gently squeeze them.

\- aahh fuck... - was the almost incoherent response.

Gradually it became too much and the trickster was about to burst.

\- If you keep this...  - he mumbled hazy - I will definitely...

No. Thor didn’t want to end it so soon, so he spoon Loki around, lading him on his stomach and showering a mix of kisses and bites on his shoulder blades.

He was rewarded with a whine of insatisfaction.

\- Don’t complain little brother, I promise you shall not regret this.

Loki stirred and motioned to flee, but Thor’s meaty thighs held him in place.

The older brother had never before been in bed with another man and he had few ideas of how things worked, but there was always room to try, so he bent over, positioning himself between Loki’s legs, his face leveled with Loki’s buttocks, and spread them open to the vision of a pink and desirous hole.

Not taking a moment to think it through he stuck his tongue out and gave it a shy lick, but when the trickster shuddered and writhed beneath him he knew he’d done something right.

With a more decisive move now, he gave it a full lick, savouring the heated flesh. It was exquisite.

Loki groaned at a loss of more meaningful sounds, tugging at the red sheets to hold back the instinct to shove his ass into his brother’s mouth. Sadly, only moments later he was doing exactly that and Thor couldn’t be more pleased.

The thunderer licked and sucked wantonly, relishing the way it made his brother quiver and cry, rocking his hips in sync to match the thrusts of Thor’s tongue.

It was bewildering and delectable to the point where Loki couldn’t wait to have something thicker inside of him, but he was not quite willing to ask for it just yet.

Thor, on the other hand, was even more eager and he did not need his brother’s request to try something different. He pressed the tip of his finger to the tiny hole, teasing and massaging it slightly to see how Loki would feel.

To his surprise the trickster all but wailed, pushing his hips back in a wordless way of asking for more.

The God of Thunder didn’t let it go unnotice and quickly managed to sink his finger further inside, not with the harshness he would’ve wanted, but he also didn’t want to hurt Loki, not in _that_ way.

Once the whole digit was inside he moved, swirling and whirling it in a way of stretching the path for something a lot more bulky.

Soon Loki was drooling over the bed, aimlessly rocking his hips back and forth. Thor took it as a sign for further moves and added another finger, adopting the same ways as before.

He was greatly rewarded with a low grunt coming from Loki’s throat, tempting and seductive as everything about him was. His own cock throbbing so furiously he wondered how much more could he wait.

It was a relief to hear what he could do next:

\- P-lease... - Loki begged - brother... _please_...

Once the thunderer heard it, nothing else mattered, but it was just the perfect opportunity to make Loki talk.

\- Please what? - he teased, moving his fingers deliberately slower.

The trickster whined again, bouncing onto his brother’s fingers like a greedy whore.

\- Please... take me... - he whispered raggedly.

\- Take you? - the older asked innocently - how?

Loki groaned in discontent, again trying to move faster but to no avail.

\- Oh, for the Norns, FUCK ME! - he pleaded, half-crying and half-growling.

Thor moved closer, lying on top of him and whispered into his ear, while his busy hand kept steady thrusts.

\- Just what I wanted to hear.

Then he sat back on the bed, pushing Loki’s ass up and arranging a pillow to accommodate him better. He was so anxious and restive that the tip of his cock was shining with pre-cum. Wisely he used it to lubricate his brother’s soft spot.

Not with many warns he shoved the head of his cock into the pink hole, adjusting to its tightness gladly.

The noise Loki made could not be named nor reproduced, for the pleasure he was being inflicted was equally distinct.

Infuriatingly slowly, Thor made his way in, his whole body trembling with want at the same time his brother’s shivering was from expectancy. Their bodies intertwined in a way they had never thought before.

People would call it sick, twisted, disgusting even, but not for them. For once they were being true to their feelings, delivering passion and love with greedy hands and scrumptious bites. It felt delirious, wrong, dirty, torrid, not enough. it felt _right._

With a heavy heart, Thor began to move, sinking deeper and deeper into the body he worshipped. It would never be enough. Their wounds could never be entirely healed and even so they insisted, they persisted in a long lost relationship. They survived and would always survive, because that was what love meant: to be there even if you’re at the wrong side of the rope.

Thor sped his pace relentlessly, cock twitching and throbbing with each thrust, hands bruising Loki’s hips. That was everything he wanted, to be buried inside the one he loved the most. _  
_

\- Oh brother please... - Loki beseeched - _harder_...

And the thunderer hurriedly obliged, reaching a sweet spot inside of his brother that made him see stars.

Loki quivered and writhed so hard, they could barely keep steady thrusts.

\- You are perfect, Loki... - he planted kisses on his brother’s spine - sweet and delicious and perfect.

When Thor felt the familiar heat in his belly announcing he was close, he freed Loki’s hips in order to grasp his cock. They were doing it together and he wanted them to come together.

The younger brother moaned delightfully, not quite knowing in which direction to thrust anymore. He was also very close and having Thor breech him like that, touching him everywhere was almost enough... He just needed something else... the cherry on the top.

As if he could hear his brother’s thoughts, Thor once again lowered himself into Loki’s body, lips brushing his earlobe and whispered:

\- I love you, _little brother_.

With that they both came, uncoordinatedly, shaking and gasping for air as their bodies slowly descended from their lust and glee, collapsing together on the bed.

Loki could find no strength left and not a single muscle strong enough to move willingly, so he decided to just lie there, wrapped in a much warmer body that was the only one he knew, the only one he would ever want.

Slowly they drifted into heavy sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's not over yet, and I hope you're panting as hard as they were!


	6. Dreadful Reveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor can't sleep and he finds himself confused and afraid, but their love cannot be. Can it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song of the chapter: No Light, No Light - Florence and The Machine

The night leisurely extended itself and though his muscles felt weary and his heart felt heavy, there was no way to keep sleeping with a troubled mind.

Thor knew, in his heart, that being with Loki was somewhat impossible. Odin, wherever he was, would never conceive their union, much less appraise it. There was also Jane, probably worried to death by where could he have gone and if he did found Loki. But the mere thought of leaving him made his whole body constrict violently.

He also knew that living a life without his brother was not an option - at least not if he wanted to keep living. Surviving was not a proper way to live and he was honestly tired of picturing a future where Loki was not included.

Of course there was Loki’s misdeeds and crimes and madness, but he could easily overlook those things because his love was sick and craving, never satisfied with the love he got in return, never wanting something different than his brother.

He would, surely, have to leave. Even if he did came back afterwards. But he owned Jane an explanation and he had to find Alfather and bring him back.

Both princes could never rule Asgard together and that was exactly what Thor wanted the most.

He shifted, arranging his body closer to where Loki was, cuddling him gingerly not to wake him up. It was so saddening to see him asleep... pink lips partially opened, placid expression endearing Thor’s heart even more, as if nothing had ever happened, as if he wasn’t broken. He looked like an angel, so quiet and beautiful. If only the older one could save that moment, embed it in his mind forever... His memories would eternally be filled with their first night’s passion, their confessions and longing.

It was hard to believe everything had actually happened. All those years being raised as brothers, fighting, playing, loving. All the times he trusted Loki only to have his trust thrown back at his face with an equally painful wound carved on his chest. All the revolting stories his father told him to explain how he and Loki were not actually brothers. All the grieving thinking he had lost the one person he ever truly loved. And in one single night none of those years and pain and regret mattered, for they were once again united.

No one would understand how they felt, how their hearts were dramatically coiled together, unable to be apart, unable to function properly whenever the other half wasn’t around. And yes, there was angst and resentment, but it didn’t mean that there was not love.

Loki lied there, unaware of his brother’s reveries, but very much awake. In his mind he was reliving that surreal night full of kisses and promises. He never had promises before. No one had ever told him to stay, or held him so tenderly, or even worshiped his body like that. No one ever cared for him as much as Thor did and it was frightening at the same time it was marvelous.

Thor leaned down and planted a soft kiss to his brother’s forehead, stroking his cheek before nuzzling his neck. Loki’s scent was by far the most delectable scent in all nine realms. It was sweet with a hint of sour and bitterness, but in the end it was somewhat frutal.

Hopefully they could stay a bit more like that, at least before sunrise. Thor wished desperately that night would pass slower and the sun would be too tired to come out, so he could just lie there, snuggled up with his lover until they both found a way of being together.

Loki didn’t move, because he didn’t want Thor to know he was awake, but mostly because he enjoyed the indulgence and anonymity of sleep. No responsibilities, no rules to follow, no hateful father to ruin your day. Sleep was peaceful and easy, much like death.

Sometimes he longed for death. When he fell into that void, death would have been a miraculous balm. Unfortunately, being dead would not allow him to be with Thor, but he had considered it so many times for so many different reasons... First, he had no idea Thor loved him in the same way, and even if he wasn’t such a dreadful bastard, their love was still twisted and wrong. He thought they were brothers - real brothers -  and it made his young mind go almost insane.

Secondly there was Thor’s coronation. An unworthy prince who would soon be king of Asgard, his beloved golden realm. An arrogant child who would certainly ruin everything their father had built, throwing feasts after countless and senseless battles. That was the only thing Thor was able to do: fight. What kind of king was that? Besides, he soon would have to chose a queen to rule by his side and with that Loki couldn’t cope.

Then when he finally found out his true parentage. It was both agony and relief not to be an Æsir, Odin’s heir. He never quite fit in, he was completely different from others, from his brother mostly, but he partially enjoyed knowing the reason why. But lies are lies and it hurt him nonetheless.

After that he was hopeless. Jotunheim, then the void, then New York, and then his cell. He wanted to be dead so many times that life had become an enemy and he couldn’t stand to watch his brother’s happiness, because secretly he wanted to share it. He wanted to be it.

When the golden son came crawling back, asking him for help he saw the chance. He grabbed it with greedy hands and forged his own death in order to be free. It was, obviously, much easier to be Asgard’s king than to be its wicked prince.

And now, lying there with those so-long-wanted arms, that rigid chest, the warm breath at the nape of his neck, he couldn’t remember why he’d done so many horrid things, but death was still prowling him, lurking around the dark edges of his mind, because no matter what had happened, Thor wasn’t his. There were too many people who loved him and his kind heart was large enough to love all of them back. That was always the problem. Thor could never be exclusively his.

Loki remembered now that jealousy was his greatest motivation, even if disguised as many other things. It was the main villain, the strongest enemy.

He rolled over to attempt and vanish those thoughts, feeling his heart beat again the dark and thick despite that coursed through his veins mercilessly. It would never be enough. That night could never heal his ancient wounds. Probably it had only made them worse.

Thor pondered what could he do to make it less painful, but found no words, no path that he could follow where Loki was present, not one that they could share.

The thunderer sat back on the bed, hopefully not waking his brother, and decided he could no longer stay still. His mind was far too troubled to keep his body quiet. He began to feel less and less air fill his lungs, the room seemed too tiny, like the walls were closing in. He recognized that feeling - he was about to faint. Hurriedly, he clutched to the headboard, knuckles turning white, and leaned back.

Loki turned to him, worry clouding his once peaceful demeanor.

\- Thor? What’s happening? - he demanded, flying to where his brother was and cupping his square face with both hands.

The older one clenched his teeth, jaw strained and eyes unseeing.

\- I... I can’t... - he choked out, moving his hands to place them above Loki’s.

\- What? - the trickster asked, but the answer was written in both of their eyes.

There was no need for questions, no need for explanations, both knew what they had to do, but they just couldn’t bring themselves to do it.

The trickster felt warm tears between his fingers and cold ones pour down his eyes. Angrily, he wiped them away and got up from the bed.

Words were painful, he knew that because he used them as his weapons, he made them sharp to pierce the skin of the ones he held most dear, but in that dire moment, they were soft and much less harmful than a glance. Actually, their glance was the one injuring them now, for both needn’t words to know what was yet to come.

Loki got dressed manually, forgetting seidr for a moment. His heart was too flustered to convey anything else. In a matter of minutes he was ready and motioned to leave the room. It was still the middle of the night and no one would be awake - the perfect time for him to wander through the palace without risking getting caught, but he didn’t want to move, so someone else had to.

Thor’s head fell to his hands, defeated.

\- You can get dressed and leave. - the trickster offered as a good host.

\- I don’t want to leave...

Loki was facing the door , trying desperately to conceal the unbearable pain inside of him, fighting to not let it show.

\- I didn’t ask for what you wanted, I said _leave_.

The thunderer swallowed dryly, vision blurred by the tears. He longed to stay, to hold his brother closer and never let him go, but everyone had responsibilities and his were bound to Earth. Asgard was no longer his domain, nor his home.

He got dressed unwillingly, found his armor thrown carelessly near the bookshelf, his cape hanging from the doorknob. How did it got there?

Purposefully, he took longer to get ready, pretending not to find some pieces of clothing, or even Mjolnir.

\- Do you need help? - Loki urged sarcastically.

\- No...

Once he was fully clothed and with Mjolnir resting at the end of his arm, there was nothing else to do. He had to go.

Timidly approaching the perky god, he landed a hand on his shoulder, which was soon yanked off.

\- I don’t need your pity, Thor. I never did.

\- It’s not pity what I feel for you, and you know it. Stop putting words in my mouth.

The God of Mischief smirked wickedly.

\- Yes, I remember putting something quite different inside your mouth.

Thor had no idea whether to laugh or cry, Loki would always be a puzzle for him, so he simply enveloped the slim frame with his large one. Sniffing pathetically when he kissed his brother’s neck.

\- Go now... - Loki orderer weakly.

\- I will be back. - he promised and with that a gust of wind rustled throughout the room.

Thor was gone.

There was no one there, nobody to see him collapse to the floor and scream, embracing himself in a ball of agony and despair. There was no brother, no lover to hold him close again and make everything go away.

Loki’s life had never been easy and for the milionth time he was thinking about death.

How could he survive with such a bleak promise, with such a vague idea of love?

Sometimes love was the last drop in jar far too full. Sometimes love was the one thing to push us down the abyss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will Loki do something reckless? we'll see...


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor needs to tell Jane he's not a part of her life anymore, but that can be more difficult than he thougt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song of the chapter: I Can't Make You Love Me - Bonnie Raitt

Thor’s mind was on Loki, though he had to think straight in order to talk to Jane and explain to her everything that had happened, he couldn’t bring himself to forget their blissful night together. He was still a bit in shock, because there never was a hint of such passion hidden under his brother’s eyes, but if he remembered correctly, everything Loki ever did was a sign of passion. Crimes and deaths committed with the single intent of calling for attention, the cry of a desperate soul who could no longer cope with loneliness.

If wasn’t excusable, but it was understandable.

He bid his farewell to Heimdal without giving a single clue to what was really going on inside the palace, and despite of it making him feel guilty and a little bit of a traitor, he remained silent for Loki’s safety came first than the realm’s knowledge of him being alive. Needless say he was in great danger if anyone found out.

Once again back in Midgard, he took no time to return to his apartment and finally give Jane something to dwell on.

-

The sky flamed with bluish lightening and trembled with the sound of thunder. Jane knew what was coming and she waited.

She was lying in bed, still sleepy, but what her ears were experiencing was undeniable and what her heart was feeling was inscrutable.

The window to their bedroom had been opened in the middle of the night in an attempt to find Thor back inside once she woke up. That didn’t happened the first night, but she could only hope.

Jane’s weak hearing captured faint steps coming from the living room and she clutched to the sheets, afraid of what might come through the door, if not for the glorious vision of a golden god sticking his head inside and smiling bleakly.

\- You’re still awake... - he managed to whisper, now full body inside the room.

\- I was hoping to see you... what happened?

Jane’s features were more frightened than worried. She didn’t ask about Loki for their whole conversation, except when Thor himself mentioned it.

It wasn’t going to be easy, leaving her.

\- So, aren’t you curious about my brother? - he asked, eyes guilty analyzing her expression.

Jane furrowed her brow.

\- What do you mean?

Thor arched one eyebrow.

\- Well... you know I went after him, don’t you want to know what happened?

She gasped and looked genuinely confused.

\- I... I thought he was... where did you go?

Thor sat on the bed and the mattress sunk with his weight. He rested a placid hand on her tiny one and turned his eyes apologetically to her.

\- Asgard, of course. I had to warn father... - a vague memory crossed his mind.

\- Warn Odin? Of what?

\- Jane, really? You were the one to tell me... - he shook his head - Why are you acting like you didn’t know...

And then a thought occurred to him, an idea that would make everything much more complicated and it was all Loki’s fault. But first he had to be sure.

\- What are you talking about? - Jane demanded, brown eyes narrowed.

\- Loki is alive.

The pure horror on her pixie face was his confirmation. Jane had never talked to him about Loki, she never knew he was very much alive, she was never there the day before.

\- WHAT? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? I mean, I SAW him dead, WE saw him dead... how can he...? I mean... what...?

Her cheeks were losing their color and Thor couldn’t say he didn’t understand her frightened reaction, but what was yet to come would shock her even more. He had to be careful.

\- Jane, I went to Asgard to warn my father and I found Loki there. He was disguised as Alfather all this time. By the Norns, I have no idea what he’d done to him, but I will find out.

\- But how did he manage to disguise himself for so long? Or was it just now?

Thor pondered about that and about what else could he tell her without compromising Loki’s safety.

\- I believe he had been hiding for as long as he could, since his “death”, but we never talked about it. I waited at his chambers to confirm a suspicion of mine and it turned out to be true.

\- So you did see him?

It was one way to put it.

\- Yes.

\- And you imprisoned him again?

The conversation was becoming more and more dangerous by the hour.

\- Erm... no.

\- Why? Is he going to face trial, or... whatever you call it?

Wrong again.

\- Not exactly.

Jane was no stupid woman and quickly realized something was off. She shifted, coming closer to where Thor stood. She placed a hand on his shoulder, capturing his eyes with an intent gaze. He looked like he could use a hug, so she gave him one.

 _Thor must be suffering, afterall it was his brother... it must be so painful to watch someone you love turn up to be so... evil. Besides, he thought Loki was dead and_... - she was brought back from her reveries by a strong sweet scent coming from Thor’s hair. It was surely not _his_ scent.

\- You smell different...

He coughed, surprised by her cleverness.

\- Listen, we have to talk...

She widened her eyes, immediately recognizing those words. Every man she ever knew said that when they were about to run away, to leave her, to move on. Was it possible that Thor had found somebody else? Surely it must be someone from Asgard... someone who was trying to comfort him because of Loki... someone... Sif!

\- Thor... don’t tell me... - she sniffed, eyes like hazelnuts filled with tears.

He couldn’t stand to see her cry, to be the reason of her suffering, but he had to chose and Loki always meant more to him.

\- Let me explain first... - he said in a crooked voice.

In spite of her pain, she was willing to listen, she _craved_ an explanation.

\- Go on, I wanna know how you’re going to explain it.

Thor sat up straight, hands shaking in desperation, Loki’s smile behind his lids. He had to do this, he had to, at least, tell her. If someday he thought they standed a chance, if he respected her enough, she had to know what happened and why he was leaving.

\- Well... - he began, tugging at the collar of his armor and unfortunately revealing a bite mark.

\- WHAT IS THAT? - Jane screeched, pulling his hand to uncover it. - IT’S A BITE MARK? YOU...

He held her hand tight as to let her escape and fixed his gaze on her lithe form.

\- Jane, something happened in Asgard, something I wasn’t expecting... old feelings I never knew were buried inside of me. It’s not at all excusable and my behavior is to be punished. I’m sorry to cause you pain, but I can’t stay anymore.

She turned white, teeth exposed feraly.

\- So you _cheated_ on me and now _you_ are leaving _me_? - she snapped, hands flying across Thor’s face and arms, wherever she could reach him.

\- It’s not like that, Jane... I... - but it _was_ like that.

He had cheated on her and if she even knew the cause of her distress... Who could know how she would react, but she deserved to know, didn’t she?

\- Was it Sif? I know it was... bravest warrior, great hair, _stupidly gorgeous_! ARGH! I can’t even... there’s no competition to _that_! She’s a goddess, for crying out loud!

Thor found it amusing that Jane would immediately think of Lady Sif, but it was an understandable choice, though he never considered it. The truth she would find much more... _distressing_.

\- No, it’s not Lady Sif. - he assured.

\- Well, who is it then? I can’t think of anybody else... Some old love? A childhood sweetheart?

He lowered his head, admitting that Loki was precisely that.

\- You could say so.

\- Okay, just tell me, all at once. Who is it?

He got up from the bed, suddenly overwhelmed with guilt. She wouldn’t understand. Even knowing Loki was never his blood brother, even knowing they weren’t related at all, she could never hope to understand the depth of their feelings for each other.

Pacing on the room, he flinched when he felt her small hand hold his. Guilt shot through his body like a hundred knives. Jane did not deserve that kind of humiliation.

\- I’ll let you go, just tell me who it is.

He turned around and cupped her delicate face with one hand, brushing a thumb across her damp cheek.

\- I’m so sorry for this... I wish I had known it before we... You have to believe me when I say I had no idea I loved this person in that way. I never even considered that my feelings could turn in such a way, but it seems it had always been up here - he pointed to his heart - I just failed miserably to notice.

She looked saddened by his lack of understanding, but how could she expect to mean something to a God that had lived a thousand lives before she was even born? How could she compete with someone who had known him for so long, someone who probably understood him better and loved him deeper.

\- I don’t think you did this to hurt me, purposefully, but you hurt me nonetheless.

\- Yes, I did and I’m terribly sorry for that, Jane, but you deserve better than me.

 _What if I don’t want someone better than you?_ she thought to herself.

It was hard enough to never think she was worthy, now that she was proven right, what else could she do but cry?

Thor enveloped her in a tight grip, vowing to himself to protect her no matter what, to protect Midgard, now more than ever as a form of apology.

\- I really am sorry.

She sighed.

\- Apologies aside, who is it?

Thor swallowed dryly, face strained and droplets of sweat forming in his forehead. _Here we go,_ he thought, _another round of tragedy and hate. She_ will _hate me after this._

\- Well, I know it sounds... _odd_... but it’s the truth and you have to understand... this is not a joke. - he paused for a moment, gathering courage - I have known this person my whole life, since I was a child and I have always loved this person, no matter my blindness, I knew I loved... him.

Jane widened her eyes again, going extremely pale and breathless. _Him? Who was he talking about?_

\- Go on. - she managed to squeak.

\- All the time we spent together meant something for me, Jane, but with him... it's different. It's a lifetime. _  
_

Jane was starting to feel a bit dizzy, but ignored that fact in order to hear what she eagerly expected. The mysterious man, his boyfriend’s long-lost lover, who was it?

\- I have suffered in vain, I couldn’t bring myself to believe the obvious and last night it was all so clear... I love him and I’m changing my life, everything I’ve ever known, to be with him. - he paused again, unsure of what to say when finally Jane grew impatient and started tapping her foot. - I’m talking about Loki.

The reaction that took place, whatever possessed Jane in that instance could not be called shock. Shock would be finding out about Sif, shock would be Thor slapping her across the face, shock would be seeing Loki alive, but _that_... She wished for something sweet as shock.

It was disgust. Utter, feral, beastly disgust. She shouted the most obvious thing to shout, but it had no effect on Thor, as if he was expecting it.

\- YOU ARE BROTHERS!

He simply lowered his head in guilt and shame. He was indeed expecting it. Thor had thought about all the wrongness in being with his brother, even if they were not related, they had been raised as if they were. He had given many thoughts to all the erroneous acts their love would lead them to, but he decided they didn’t matter. Nothing mattered as long as they could be together.

\- Whatever you might want to accuse me of, feel free, Jane, but know this: I love Loki more dearly than a brother and he was, he is and always will be, _my life_. I cannot go back now, I cannot deny what I feel and I came back because I think you deserved to know.

\- So this is it? You’re leaving me to be with your BROTHER? - she started panting violently, gasping for air and Thor sent a text to Darcy without her noticing.

Jane needed a friend, but Thor couldn’t be that friend anymore. He couldn’t be anything anymore. Not for her.

He planted a chaste kiss on her forehead and mumbled “I’m sorry” again.

The thunderer had learned that, for love, we were able to do anything, to defy anyone, even if it meant to hurt the ones we care about. He had to be true to his feelings, he had to go back home to _his_ Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor is willing to give up everything for Loki, but when he comes back to Asgard, what will he find?


	8. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is back in Asgard, but will he convince Loki of his plans?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the Chapter: It is You I Have Loved (All Along) - Dana Glover

Asgard, as foreign as it seemed before, now was undoubtedly home. Not because Thor felt connected to it, not because of his childhood memories or emotional attachments, but because home is where the heart is.

Bifrost and Heimdall passed in a blur until he finally reached Loki’s chambers.

What in all the nine realms would he say?

_I think we can be together. No. I know we can be together, and I’ll make any effort, I’ll do anything to keep you in my life, however you want it. If I have to defy alfather, even if we have to run. I’ll be yours._

But those words never came out of his mouth once he opened the double doors to the dreadful sight of emptiness.

The marble walls were flickering with a faint light from the fireplace, but there was no one inside to be warmed.

 _Odd_ , he thought, _Loki is probably hiding._

Then he took large and heavy steps towards the bed. The very same bed in which they had so thoroughly confessed their love, intimately, passionately, until both shivered with harmful thoughts of what could never be.

\- Loki? - he called, glancing at the whole of the room, searching for something he didn’t actually know. A spectrum? A ghost?

It took a while until the trickster finally revealed himself, clearly unamused.

\- What? - he whispered low, appearing surprisingly behind the broad form of his brother.

Thor was not startled, but his body stiffened as if waiting for an attack. He didn’t answer either, simply turned his head back and stared into the bright frightful green orbs of his new-found lover.

\- What do you want? - Loki asked softly what sounded more like a threat than a real question.

Thor furrowed his brow, realizing that that was not the conversation he was hoping to have and Loki was at a much more defensive position than an welcoming one.

\- You. - he prompted decisively.

A quick, but evident look of surprised crossed Loki’s features and for once Thor saw his fear. It was everywhere. The trembling light in his widened eyes, the way his lips parted slightly, the tiny wrinkle in his brow. He was absolutely terrified of wanting what he wanted, he was scared to not have it. Thor could see that because his own eyes reflected the same fear. He just wished Loki could see it too.

But soon enough the trickster composed his mask of indifference and turned his head to avoid Thor’s plump lips that were on their course to his mouth.

\- Last I checked, you were on your way _home_. - he spit, anger boiling quickly in his gut.

Thor cupped his chin and forced his head to turn back and look him in the eyes.

\- I promised I would come back and here I am.

Loki dismissed his touch, untying his chin from the iron grip and crawling out of bed.

\- I never asked you to come back, Thor. I never asked for _anything_.

The trickster tore his eyes away because suddenly it was too painful to look at those baby blue eyes filled with longing. It was too painful to know he could never have them.

\- You needn’t ask, brother. I _wanted_ to come.

Thor also crawled out of bed and paced to where Loki was, standing in the middle of the room, the warmth of the fireplace spreading across his cheeks.

Loki’s wry mind reflected... _No he didn’t. He didn’t want to come, he felt guilty, he felt obligated to, because we..._

Thor’s meaty hands cradled his waist and the train of thought got lost somewhere between hate and desire.

\- Let go of me. - he demanded weakly, stepping away from Thor, but never actually getting rid of his hands.

\- Listen well brother, - the thunderer started - I came back for _you_ and only you. It does not matter if we can’t be together here. We can find some place else, we can forget about Asgard and its foolish rules.

Loki wanted so bad to believe it was the truth, but his tortured soul was already discarding those promises as something unreliable. Thor would never defy Odin for the sake of a meaningless affair.

\- Foolish are your words. - he replied heavily - What will you do, huh? The Mighty Thor is going to disrespect his father’s orders and wed a murderer? Oh no, of course not. He’ll probably make you wed some fair maiden, or even Sif and then, after all your begging, he’ll grant you me as a concubine. - he was panting with rage - And trust me when I say, Thor, I _will not_ be your whore.

At this point in conversation they were a few feet apart, Loki staring at him with wild eyes and gritted teeth, but Thor did not let those hateful words unsettle him. He knew Loki threatened when he was afraid, like a little kitty trapped in a corner.

\- Loki, that’s enough. I’m not here to discuss whether or not father will grant me the pleasure to have you. I do not care for his orders, much less for his praise. I will have you and that’s it.

The thin, white-lipped man was caught by surprise, head spinning so quickly he thought he would faint. Thor didn’t want Odin’s approval? He didn’t care?

\- That’s... _nonsense_! We can’t be together, Thor, it’s impossible, it’s never going to happen! Are you really that obtuse?

\- What? Why? - Thor chased after him again, always following no matter where he went. - Who’s to say we can’t? Who would dare be opposed to me?

Loki quivered and because there was such a confident manner in Thor’s shoulders, because he seemed so powerful and decided, because he had such a vigorous fire burning in his eyes, Loki let himself believe, just for a moment, that they could be together, that Thor would make it happen.

He didn’t say anything, but again he knew he was giving it away by the way Thor’s eyes fell on him, endeared and fondly, like there was nothing in the whole world he loved more than Loki.

And then Thor was striding to him, a determined look in his face. He stopped only inches from Loki’s lithe form and in one swift movement, enveloped him tightly, pressing their lips together wantonly.

There was only so much he could resist, because those strong arms, the smell of musk and sun emanating from that heated skin, the softness of those warm lips in contrast to that firm chest clouded his judgment and quicker than he could prevent it, Thor was all he could feel.

They kissed hungrily, like lovers that had been kept apart for years on end.

Loki relished the fact that Thor could make him melt like that, that he could turn his mind into a comfortable haze, vanishing all self-hatred and doubt. It was delightful.

He honestly tried to break the kiss, but his resolve was gone once Thor’s tongue swept over his lower lips, begging for entrance and he allowed it. What else could he do? That damned body that betrayed his clever mind. Well, maybe not so clever since Thor could easily play with it as he pleased.

With the burst of anger that surged with that thought he pushed Thor away and because he wasn’t expecting it, the thunderer actually moved.

\- Stop this stupidity! We can’t fuel something that can never be. From now on we’ll forget anything happened and you’ll go back to that apish planet you so love and your little pet. Get out, Thor, NOW!

\- If this is a contest on how stubborn one can be, you may be certain I will win, brother. I _refuse_ to leave, unless you tell me you do not want to be with me.

Loki pondered for a minute and decided that a lie was the best way to end everything.

\- Fine. I do not want you. - he stated vaguely and turned to the fire.

Thor chuckled in fake amusement.

\- Yes, and I’m not the God of Thunder. Lies will take you nowhere, brother. You have to mean it.

He closed the gap again, analyzing by his brother’s eyes if he felt the charge in the air, if the memories of their night’s passion were having the same effect on him. Then he leaned in and nuzzled Loki’s neck languidly, running his nose up and down the alabaster skin, the familiar sweet scent filling his nostrils.

\- I will not believe you after you allowed me to taste your skin, - he alluded giving the trickster’s neck a sinful lick - ...after you surrendered your soul to me, - he whispered lustfully - ...after I felt the sheer bliss to be _inside_ you. - he continued, grinding their hips together.

Loki’s breathing turned ragged in a second and he cursed his starving body for being so obvious.

 _Don’t let your body rule your mind._ He repeated in thought, but it proved to be dreadfully useless.

The thing was, Loki would never be able to remain unaffected by Thor. No matter in which level -  physically, emotionally, psychologically. He would always respond, he would always give in. But so would Thor and that’s why they couldn’t keep their distance.

The golden prince traced a line up his brother’s jaw with the tip of his tongue and tasted again the deliciousness of it. Proudly, he thought about all the times he would be able to do just that, now that almost everything was settled.

But it didn’t seem like that to Loki. At all.

\- What about... - he breathed softly - your mewling wench... - another ragged breath - what have you told her...?

All the while Thor kept licking his neck, his jawline, his earlobe and then he had to stop and answer. _Oh, you are going to rejoice on this, little brother._

\- I told her I was sorry, but that she was not the one I loved most in the world. I told her about you and how, all this time, I had been blind, until finally I saw the light.

Loki held back a squeal of delight. _Really? Thor had really said that?_ Oh, for Odin’s sake, he was behaving like a giggly maiden because of his oaf of a brother.

He coughed and straightened his face.

\- So... she knows you not only left her, but that you left her because of me?

\- Yes. - Thor prompted. - She does.

_Oh that petty little ape must be dying inside. I like that._

\- And you told her about our... - he motioned to the both of them and then to the bed.

Thor nodded, blushing a little.

\- She... mostly found out about that on her own.

Loki’s eyebrows shot up.

\- How?

Thor sighed, still blushing and turned his neck a little to display the round purple bruise blooming beneath the sun-kissed skin. Loki wanted to giggle stupidly again, but instead he smiled feraly.

\- Hmmm... - he hummed, pleased with himself.

That was, secretly, his intent.

\- She practically accused me... and then she thought it had been Sif.

That remark wiped Loki’s evil grin off of his face.

\- Why?

\- Well, somehow, she thinks Sif fancies me.

The goofy grin on Thor’s face made Loki even more disturbed. He rolled his eyes.

\- She does, you moron.

Thor looked puzzled now.

\- Oh, for the Norns, are you really that blind? - Loki snorted.

Thor smiled fondly.

\- I was blind enough to fail to see how much I loved you.

Loki only gulped.

It was strange how, before, Thor’s words had no effect on him, or maybe he hadn’t noticed the real effect they had, but now all of it, even the tiny things, filled up his wounded heart like little candles, warming up everything inside.

Thor had missed him. Thor had told Jane about him. Thor had came back for him. Thor loved him. Why was it so difficult for his mind to just let go, to trust Thor and surrender to his love?

He didn’t know the answer to that question and at last his wicked mind began to understand. There was no real reason. He searched every dark corner of his thoughts, the sharp edges of his blackened heart. Nothing. Thor had extinguished every source of obstacle, every torment he could ever think about. There was nothing left to block their way.

Loki allowed his tense shoulders to soften and sighed guilty.

\- In the dungeons.

\- What? - Thor frowned.

\- Odin is in the dungeons.

Thor’s lips parted slightly, but he kept quiet. He wouldn't risk his new-found happiness for his treacherous father’s freedom. So he decided not to argue.

\- Very well. I’ll order the guards to release him. - he tested.

Loki shrugged, giving up.

He thought, _what was the point now on keeping Odin hidden?_ He couldn’t harm him. Not anymore. Not with Thor by his side. A timid smile spread across his thin lips.

Thor rested a hand on his shoulder.

\- Let’s forget about all of this madness. - he offered, smiling as well - Let Asgard be Odin’s problem. We do not need anything else as long as we have each other... and you already have me.

\- I love you... - Loki whispered, blushing.

He felt the warm hand cover his cheek. He leaned into the touch, resolutely allowing his heart to heal from an old wound.

Thor caught his mouth into a divine kiss, pouring the final promise.

Nothing could ever tear them apart again. Not anymore.

The agony had been dissipated, the love had been spread.

The lost Prince had been found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over, my lovelies!! Thank you all for the feedback and sorry for the delay.


End file.
